tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369648983719725338.post7476546169160704052..comments2024-03-14T06:22:55.804-05:00Comments on Francey Pants: I Neenuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08336127382418167128noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369648983719725338.post-17584921293891592042007-12-27T16:22:00.000-06:002007-12-27T16:22:00.000-06:00Sure, but do you have any experience with Microsof...Sure, but do you have any experience with Microsoft Office?spacemanaxdahl.comhttp://www.spacemanaxdahl.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369648983719725338.post-90371745305085545902007-12-28T12:27:00.000-06:002007-12-28T12:27:00.000-06:00Quite possibly the world's most famous college...Quite possibly the world's most famous college application letter, written by Huge Gallagher in 1990:<br><br>3A. ESSAY: IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:<br><br>ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?<br><br>I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.<br><br>I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.<br><br>Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.<br><br>I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.<br><br>I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.<br><br>I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.<br><br>But I have not yet gone to college.Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15410980030659825923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3369648983719725338.post-73334451452391374632007-12-28T16:05:00.000-06:002007-12-28T16:05:00.000-06:00I remember reading a one-sentence essay for an app...I remember reading a one-sentence essay for an applicant to Stanford's graduate program in English, and it went something along the lines of:<br><br>"I want to teach college English and I need a Ph.D, so that is why I am applying to the Stanford's graduate school."<br><br>And he was accepted.spacemanaxdahl.comhttp://www.spacemanaxdahl.com/noreply@blogger.com