Reader, I Married Him

It was all worth it. All the stress. All the breakdowns. All the little green bows. I won't compare my nups to those of anyone else, but I can say that this was my most perfect day. I was farting happiness bombs and shooting joy beams out of my eyeballs.

There were so many gorgeous moments, and so as not to bore you with a play-by-play, I'll share a few of them here:

• Receiving a scrapbook my wonderful 'maids put together with pages designed by some of my nearest and dearest. They were all immensely lovely, especially the page my illustrator buddy Jo drew of me flying to my ceremony on the wings of a unicorn, with a golden litter waiting for me below. 

Drawing by Johanna Kim

• Watching the weather go from an awful thunderstorm to a beautiful, perfect sunny day. Every time I fretted about the darkening sky or gale force winds my maids reassured me that it would all pass. When the sun peeked through Lo told me it was proof the Big Guy loved me. 
• Seeing my father for the first time and DEMANDING he not cry... several times.
• Teaching my flower girls how to wave like beauty queens for their trip down the aisle.

(Photo courtesy of Anna Weggel)

• Hiding in the country club's women's locker room with my personal attendant Missita pre-ceremony and accepting the congratulations of random sweaty golfer ladies. Trying to calm the nervous churning in my stomach. 

Picture courtesy of Missy Rococo Guillermo

• Walking down the aisle and focusing on the Dude like a laser beam, then begging him to stop looking at me when I got there so I wouldn't cry, then pulling myself together and sharing several sweet glances. 
• My maid Anna exchanging my soggy tissues for fresh, dry ones every time I gave her the Look (that's love). 
• Hearing the beautiful readings from Dude's dad and my Aunt Wendy, and the beautiful music from my brother Jake (Unchained Melody on guitar), Anna and Tom (Can't Help Falling in Love on the uke), and my own dear Dude, who after reading his vows sang me some more for good measure. (Pun!)

Photo Courtesy of Missy Rococo Guillermo

• Having a few moments alone with the Dude between the ceremony and receiving line, marveling how weird it was to be husband and wife. Telling him to stop playing with his ring.
• The toasts! My pa reading a poem, my maids Leah, Laurel and Aleta and the dudes Nathan and Chris reading touching speeches, and Anna, Amanda and Tom acting out our different versions of how we met from our wedding website (with the help of my now-famous Kitchen Aid standing mixer). 
• Munching on our delicious macarons: salted caramel, lemon raspberry and mocha. 

Photo Courtesy of Sarah Bauer

• The dance floor being nearly full all night long. Not dying when I was lifted in a chair during a very bizarre techno rendering of Hava Nagilah. My French guests taking the microphone to tell people that what their countrymen think of us is wrong-- Americans are quite welcoming and sending everyone 'ugs from Frahnce.

Photo Courtesy of Missy Rococo Guillermo

• My sissy-poo catching the bouquet.
• A cousin telling me he liked the drawing I made on the "kebaba" (he meant my ketubah, which I def. did not draw). Another cousin pawing through my Macy's box full of wedding night lingerie at the hotel because he thought the box said, "Muffins".
• Recapping the night with the Dude in our bridal suite and being so, so, so, so SO happy.

I know I've been telling everyone to elope for the past few months, but I take that back now.