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March 2, 2013

February: The Month Mint Wouldn't Stop Yelling at Me

Do you guys use Mint? It's a website and app that let you budget and track your spending. If Mint doesn't think you're making very good decisions, like incurring an ATM fee or spending $12 at  coffee shops for the month when you specifically told it you were only going to spend $10, you'll receive an email alert to guilt you into being more responsible.

Sometimes Mint nags you so much that you have to ignore it or risk constantly feeling like a failure of a human.

Mint totally hated me in February. I would get emails that were like, "You just spent tens of thousands of dollars on housing! You usually spend $600. What's wrong with you?!?! Don't go buying any furniture now. Don't do it. I'm serious. Don-- DAG NABIT!"

"Why on earth are you spending money on pets??? Have I taught you nothing???"

"Do you FREAKING REALIZE that you just spent $4 more on groceries than you said you would?! You are going to end up a homeless pauper, with nothing to your name, no one to love and nowhere to live. IDIOT."

You know what, Master Mint? #Hidontevencurr. These groceries are delicious. This house is a palace. And this dog, now officially named Ellis Alfred Swearengen, is the coolest sentient being on the planet. I can save money when I'm dead.


  1. The responsible part of me feels like I should get this app. The part of me that understands the way I really am, rather than the way I want to be, fears it, and fears it greatly.