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Showing posts with label Let's talk about feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Let's talk about feelings. Show all posts

June 27, 2011

The REAL reason to travel

Yesterday was my birthday. Not just any birthday-- my GOLDEN birthday, which I've been anticipating since I was present for a childhood friend's 9th birf on July 9 and she received a golden plastic 9, a golden dress, and cupcakes sprinkled with gold flakes.

I didn't end up doing any of the golden goose-eating, goldschlag-ing, golden body paint-ing things I had originally envisioned for this verra special day; I've got a rather large party coming up in a month, so I was quite content to spend a quiet day with the fam.

One thing that did elevate this birthday from all others, though, was watching my Facebook wall fill with birthday greetings that poured in from all over the world. Friends I met in Morocco, Switzerland, Italy, Holland and Germany all sent well wishes, and I received a deluge of greetings from my beloved former students in France ("I hope you are very fine," "Hope you'll pass a nice day," "Happy birthday and good wedding miss," "You become old LOL,"). Ils me manquent trop!

The sights were breathtaking and the food delish, but my very favorite part of all my travels this past year was meeting so many wonderfully unique and generous people. I made literally hundreds of friends with folks who I know would share a meal with me, house me, and help me out of a jam if I ever ended up in their vicinity again. And hopefully they know I'd do the same for them.

May 25, 2011

How I know I'm no longer in France


 -Teeny tiny bits of French cheese from Kowalski's cost a fortune. Au revoir, comté, délice de Bourgogne, bleu d'Auvergne, et al... at least until I have a job.

-Bureaucratic matters have been a breeze. I went to get fingerprinted yesterday for a temp agency that may send me to work at a bank, and I was in and out of there in five minutes flat.

-Wine from Australia is way cheaper than my favorite Burgundies. I went to the neighborhood liquor store a few days ago and lovingly caressed the bottles from all my old hangouts, all of which were in the $20-$40 range. I guess I'll be making new friends with Woop Woop Syrah.

-At nearly every store I enter someone pops up and asks if they can help me, and if I say yes they drop what they're doing and actually help me.

-I can no longer read the blogs or Facebook posts of broads still abroad, for I am consumed by a fierce jealousy that turns me a sickly shade of clover.

-People on the street stop me and say things like, "Are dose snap-dray-guns? Dayr bee-yoo-tee-full! Fer nice!"



May 9, 2011

Au revoir, mes enfants

"Profitez, profitez, profitez."

At the orientation for assistants this fall, one of the program employees urged us to make the most of our year abroad.

Many people put traveling off-- it's something to do once you've established yourself, once your family is grown, once you have saved enough money. But I didn't want to wait until my knees were too weak to handle all the merde-ing stairs and I was so set in my ways that I couldn't handle a different way of life. Though they were too polite to say so, lots of my friends and family probably thought I was being completely irresponsible for leaving a good job with good benefits for seven months of gallivanting. But it was one of the best decisions I've made, and this was the best year of my life.

Though it makes my heart ache to leave the country I've come to know and love so well, I do so knowing I made the very best of it.

Ce n'est pas adieu... je vais retourner. 

March 25, 2011

That Happy-Sad Feeling

When my little brother was younger, he came up with a series of Mixed-Emotion faces to amuse and delight his three older siblings. Sammy (also known as "The Face") was blessed with a supremely flexible facial epidermis, which allowed him to encompass multiple emotions à la fois. His most successful of these caricatures is that of the Happy-Sad face, as illustrated below:


Happy-Sad perfectly describes how I'm feeling this week.

Cloudless skies and temps warm enough to wear a dress. Happy. Saying goodbye to some of my favorite students, urging them to write me if they ever come to America. Sad. Knowing that when I return I'll be living in Uptown Minneapolis with my favorite roommate of all time, and just minutes away from many of my other Lovely Lady Lumps. Ecstatic. Knowing that I have to go back to a real job and real responsibilities. Gloomy.

Feeling famous as students shout my name and give me les bises as I walk down the street. Excited to be anonymous again. Knowing I'll miss being surrounded by French. Knowing I'll love being enveloped in the nasal vowels and Oh Yahs and the You Betchas. Eating baguettes still warm from the oven and cheap but fabulous cheeses and wine while I still can. Dreaming about mojitos a the Kitty Cat Klub and sushi at Nami and the tuna melts at the French Meadow Bakery.

Wishing I could make this idyllic, perfect French experience last forever. Itching to get back to my life and loved ones.

So much to miss, so much to come back to. Happy-sad. 

December 17, 2010

Holiday melancholia

Right now, at this very moment, my fiancé is sleeping in my bed at my parents' house, having just eaten a scrumptious dinner prepared by my dear mama and presumably having been schooled in Scrabble by my older brother, entertained by He Who Makes Noise (my younger brother), and philosophized to by my papa. And I am so, so jealous.

I'm not usually one who gets homesick very easily, but this is the first holiday season I've spent so far from all my peeps. Oh, how I miss them! How I miss Duluth and Minneapolis and Portland, the places where I've left the largest, most irreplaceable chunks of my heart.

I miss pumpkin pie and Blue Moon beer and doggy bags and big American breakfasts and customers always being right and cookies and gyms where everyone ignores you and always having correct subject/verb agreement and COUCHES and ovens big enough to cook two turkeys if I wanted to and wearing bright colors and cheap haircuts and hot apple cider and knitting and being 100% comprehensible (unless I'm mumbling) and personal space and people caring that Sarah Palin might be our next president and keeping Portland weird and reading real books in English and soft water and...

You. More than anything in the whole entire world, I miss you.

October 19, 2010

The Honeymoon is Over

Two Fridays ago I was moseying around Digoin, enjoying the sunshine before I headed off to Paris to meet up with my friends Ted and Danielle for the weekend. I took the route by the sun-dappled Loire River, and smiled to myself at the sight of six old French dames squished together on a bench, laughing like school girls. Everyone I passed said "Bonjour!" to me, and José, the friendly bartender at the Café de Paris, stuck his head out to wish me a good trip.

"I love the f out of this place," I thought to myself. "It's going to be so impossible to leave in but a few months."

I had a lovely time in Paris, and made it back just in time for the entire country to go on strike to protest the proposed change of retirement age from 60 to 62. The olds are upset that the government is merde-ing on their sacred benefits, which generations have fought for and for which they pay dearly  with their taxes. The youngs are none-too-pleased that the olds will be stationed in their jobs for two additional years, making it that much harder for them to find jobs in a country plagued with chronic unemployment.

I'm all for the Frenchies being involved in their governmental proceedings and fearlessly yelling, "Aw, hell no!" when they feel those supposedly representing them are no longer doing their jobs. But effectively bringing train travel to a standstill and thus forcing me to cancel all sorts of touristing? Not cool.

I took the bus to Lyon on Friday and was planning to spend the entire weekend there with my bridesbitch Lo. Instead of taking our 5:30 p.m. Sunday train back to Digoin, however, we were forced to cut our trip a day short to take an 8:20 a.m. bus to Paray le Monial, the town next to Digoin. Once we got there, there was supposed to be another bus to take us back to my palatial abode. But it was one big lie, France! Instead we inquired of a kindly looking gentleman if he knew of a taxi number, and he offered to take us to Digoin himself.

Lo and I popped into the Café de Paris to say hi to José, and then headed to a pizza place, one of a handful establishments in the entire metropolis open on Sundays. It was there, upon receiving a personal pizza as large as a car wheel (and you're not allowed to share pizzas there; it's well-marked on the menu... didn't you see?) and feeling the burning desire to take a snap of it, that I realized my camera was no longer in my purse. When we got home I tore through all my possessions and found it neither hither nor thither. The last place I know I had it was on the bus, and I have since both called and emailed the bus line and they insist it is nowhere.

I know a camera is just a thing, and things are replaceable, and I should really stop mourning this loss so hard. But I had some wicked awesome shots from Lyon of Lo and me playing Be the Statue and Be the Painting, as well as some excellent new candidates for Facebook profile pictures. So it felt like a beloved pet had just died.

After I had somewhat reconciled myself to this monumental loss, I came to the realization that I had absolutely nothing to do to amuse my dear friend for the remainder of her stay. We tried going to the grocery store at the edge of town, but we got there after it was closed and thus our 40-minute forced march in the biting wind was in vain. In the end we watched Jersey Shore with my frustratingly faltering internet connection, and then the one DVD I brought out here.

Everything in town remained closed on Monday, so we trudged back to the supermarket for amusement and the makings of dinner. Next we went to Digoin's one museum: la Musée de la Céramique. It was room upon room upon room of pottery. Old pottery. New pottery. Pitchers. Plates. Bowls. Bed warmers. Bed pans. I tried to translate our guide's impassioned speeches about the benefits of different types of glazes for Lo's benefit, but eventually my translations consisted of: "I don't know how to translate that," "I have no idea what she just said," "Glaze," "Chamberpot."

I had somewhat of an emotional breakdown last night because apparently my camera contained part of my soul I can never get back and Digoin is so cold and gray now and the strike is really making my life miserable and how am I going to go to Paris and Arles and Grenoble and Lyon next week during my vacation and nobody said Bonjour to me outside and this is a ghost town on Sundays and Mondays and OMD is this beyond-boring ceramic museum seriously the only thing I can take my visitors to?

There's an emotional cycle of culture shock you experience when you go abroad. First you're in the Honeymoon Period: everything's great and nothing could possibly be better than what you're doing. Then the reality that you're a billion miles away from your loved ones and everything familiar starts to sink in, and everything sucks. Then you stabilize and get used to things. Then, right before you leave, you love everything so much that you get depressed about going back home, where you will inevitably go through reverse culture shock.

I felt better this morning, when we encountered the high school students' protest on our way to get some pain au chocolat for breakfast. Among the protesters were several of the students I've had in class, and they said, "C'est l'assistante d'anglais! 'Ello Nina!" as they marched by. (They like me! They really really like me!) And I came home this afternoon to find a box from my parents that contained my Association sweatpants and my oversized North Branch Cinema sweatshirt, which have contributed to the immeasurable increase in comfort I'm currently experiencing. Then I was able to find a bus to go to my orientation in Montceau-les-Mines tomorrow, which I've been fretting about having to skip since the trains aren't running. And then a teeny tiny sun ray lit up a corner of my room for about three whole minutes!

I'm hoping my Stage 2 (Everything is Difficult) is swift and Stage 3 (Hey! I'm Figuring This Out) is right around the corner.