... I'm going through a tube of Burt's Bees a week
... Walking over five feet of carpet to hug my mom goodnight transmits a lightening bolt's worth of electricity
... My throat is coated in sandpaper
... August's pre-storm sticky humidity is sounding mighty fine
... Looking people in the eye for long periods makes my eyes water and thus makes my editors think I fear them
... I had a dream last night I moisturized my face with margarine
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