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January 5, 2011

Moreover they kiss in the elevator

One of my fellow English teachers (not at my school) gave me the awesome task of helping him grade his students' descriptions of the scene in Baz Luhrmann's "Romeo + Juliet" where the two meet each other for the first time. I give to you two of my favorites, in all their unedited glory:

The story begin in a bal who is creating of Juliet's father, or there have Romeo and herself. But Juliet's family don't know that Romeo is there with friend who is Mercutio. When Romeo and Juliet are meeting, they are fall in love but Juliet don't know Romeo is a Montaigu and Romeo don't know Juliet is a Capulet. But their love is stonger and when Romeo is discoverded he decided to leave the ball. But when Romeo is ready to go he decided to join Juliet in her house.

He wants to see Juliet discreetly but he drops a statue that bring out the monitoring of the pool luckily, he don't see Romeo and he goes. When Juliet comes out he follows and speacks of love and her name with him. When they are kissing Juliet is call by his nurse and she gets out of the pool and she says good night to Romeo.

This was hands down the best I read:

At the biginning. Capulets organise a party and Romeo and Mercutio come on. Mercutio is singing and Romeo comes in the bathroom, and though the aquarium he see Juliet, during an amor song. He is dressing in a knight warrior, and Juliet in a angel fairy. In the party there are a Devil, a Mousqueteer, a Skeleton, a Roman emperor and a Cleopatra. After that, Juliet dances with an astronaut. Then Juliet's cousin see the young Mantague and wants do him go out, but his godfather no allowd it.

Whereas Romeo tell with Juliet and try to kiss her. Moreover they kiss in the elevator. But after she learn Romeo is a Montague and Romeo go out. Then, he leaves in his friends' car but he goes back to Juliet's place and spies on her. She speak about Romeo's name and she asks he to change is name. Finally he shows itself and they fall in the swimming pool. Juliet is innocent, loving but careful whereas Romeo is loud, brave, irrational and passionate with she. They talk about love, the moon and mariage, they plan to get married soon. At the end, Juliet keeps coming back and they say goodnight a thousand time.


  1. I love the spelling mistakes that indicate the French pronounciation of certain words: 'is' instead of "his," 'do' instead of "to," and (to some extent, with the influence of French spelling) 'mousqueteer' instead of 'musketeer.'

    Whenever I see English teachers grading, they're always in a bad mood. Makes me wonder what accidental horrors I made my French teachers read in school!

  2. Oh I love these! They almost top the original.